Every family and marriage has issues; however, at times these issues are so challenging that they can’t be addressed. Below you will find the four levels of problems that you would find in your home, and what you need to do in order to determine if professional counseling is needed.
Level One: Simple Problems Or Issues
Are you dealing with problems in your home that come from things such as lack of knowledge, pride, selfishness about how to raise your children or make a marriage last? Here are a few of the best examples:
- Poor habits when it comes to finances
- Misunderstanding about your marriage and sexual relationship
- Very little to no communication between you and your spouse
- Rivalries between siblings
- Child is acting out to get their way
- Children with consistent lying
- Difficulty handling problems in your marriage
If these types of problems are describing the ones that you are dealing with, you can search for the answers on your own. Consider talking with an older individual that you trust, such as an old family friend or pastor from your church. Generally they are able to fill you in on some advice that could help with these types of problems.
Level Two: Problems Are More Serious
Are you feeling that the problems are going far beyond just simple issues but aren’t to the point where they are entirely out of control? Some examples may include:
- Frustration occurs with all problems that arise in the family
- A teenager is very difficult to handle
- Only one parent handles the issues with the children
- Either you or your spouse is finding other things more important than each other (such as talents, hobbies, jobs, and so on.)
- Can’t tell if you are still in love
- Communication between you and spouse is very acute
One of the very first things you might want to think about are some conferences that talk about these types of issues that go on at home. They will be able to provide you with answers and sometimes even tools that you can use that will change your lifestyle at home.
Level Three: Desperation
This is where you begin to feel that your marriage may come to an end if you are unable to seek any help. You feel that there is desperation, and that nothing you do will ever be good enough to change the family or marriage problems. You might actually need counseling but you don’t know. Here is a description of these issues:
- You are still married, yet you feel like a single parent
- Your teen is having issues with alcohol, drugs and/or sex
- Your child is entirely rebellious
- Either you or both you and your spouse believe in divorce or separation
- You continue your daily routine, yet you feel no happiness
- You are no longer physically intimate
- Most of the communication between the family is lost
These are very serious issues that need to be addressed as soon as you can. These issues may have been present for many years before you finally realized them. You are more likely going to need counseling here, or you could choose someone from your church or a church nearby that could sit down to talk with you and your family. Although this seems tough, you should never lose hope.
Level Four: Major Crisis
This is when you know that the family is slowly falling apart and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. You might be spending more time with friends rather than at home with your family, and/or your children and spouse are arriving home late without any communication. Some examples might be:
- You know that your teen is using alcohol and/or drugs
- You have lost total control of your child
- Your child is talking about suicide
- Your spouse is constantly revolved around pornography
- Affairs are happening within the marriage
- Divorce or separation is already in progress
This is where counseling is needed. You need to seek help as soon as possible to see what there is to do in order to save your marriage and your family. You can talk with friends and family and ask them for recommendations of a local counselor that may be able to help.